[smitty088]

Dear FFs,

Has anyone experienced concern and questioning from community members about why you want to be a firefighter?

Like how dare you think you can do this? Because your a parent and a wife your children will be miserable and sad?

Is this usual behavior for those that do not understand the intense desire that burns inside you (me) to want to put out fires and save lives to question your actions?

I understand my commitment to my husband and my children.

I am getting

Tia
_________________
TT

[Rajsh]

I have been asked how my husband feels about me fighting fires.... grr.

At least I can tell tham he got so sick of my running out to calls at 3 AM, he joined the department too

[smitty088]

Dear Rajsh,

Are you a volunteer firefighter or career firefighter?

My husband seems to be supportive now if reality is to occur and I am away 24 hour shifts I need to be specific with him and realistic to answer all his questions and mine.

If you are a career firefighter or if anyone else is a career firefighter reading this board can you help me with this very specific questions?

(1) Most stations allow family members to visit during certain hours occasionally during your work shift correct?

(2) As a woman do you eat real light like granola bars, yogurt and bread to keep your system pure during shift? To reduce the occasion to have to defecate a lot?

(3) Does urination become a problem because often you hold your urine for long periods of time? Has anyone ever wet herself? Or wear thick pad to hold urine?

(4) During Fire Academy is there any specific survival modes you have found helpful during menstration to reduce flow? I know tampons are very good for this? Any recommendation like Depo ( RX) to stop flow?

(5) When going in for your shift do you take a backpack with your gear? Or a traveling suitcase on wheels or a bag on a nylon sling across shoulder?

(6) Is it better to drive to work and leave car or is it better to vanpool, ride bus or commuter train? (Or is it depended on where you live?)

(7) I know you must contribute personal money for groceries and personal tolietries? Is this done daily, weekly, monthly? I know borrowing is unacceptable. And you have to provide and contribute for yourself.

(9) When you have a family do you find it best to just do your scheduled hours?

(10) What is the benefit of having a spouse work as a firefighter as well besides them seeing you on the job? I don't think my husband and I would work well together at the same place? We enjoy time away from each other occasionally?

(11) Do you think the ages of your children, their health, their emotionally well being and stage of learning and development affects your determination to be a firefighter? (My children are both school age and they understand firefighting, I am frank and honest with my children)

(12) As a mother I understand mother's guilt no matter what job you have you leave your children in the care of someone be it school, preschool, childcare or relatives do you think being a firefighter and taking care of others but not being their for your children perhaps when they are sick magnifies mother's guilt? (But then we have to think of military mothers, nurse mothers, pilot mothers, cruise boat mothers, astronaut mothers, doctor mothers who deliver babies & surgeons, foster mothers, 24 hour daycare providers, camp director mothers) As a mother we trust other mothers to watch our children correct?

(13) How many of you firefighter moms go into work that day thinking this could be my last day of life? ( I know just everyday in life in general I know could be my last and I am not a firefighter)

(14) How many of you firefighter moms feel that you had a 'mission' or specific if you will 'calling' to be a firefighter?

(15) How long did it take you to reach your goal of being a firefighter? And how long do you think you try to reach the goal of being a firefighter? And do you think their is a time when you should pursue a different career?

(16) What would you say would be a career similar to firefighter that is just as interesting and challenging and would satisfy you if you could not be a firefighter? (I can't think of any)

(17) Reality check--What would be an obvious you absolutely cannot be a firefighter answer?


(19) The fire house has to be a safe haven for all crew? What would make it a unsafe place?

(20) If a husband and wife work at same fire house it is considered inappropriate or impolite for them to have sex while on duty? Because this is against policy for all firefighters, correct?

(21) Germs are a big issue... how is bedding laundered, are towels provided and who takes care of this a outside laundry are is it done in house?

(22) Are hugs (can be borderline by some??) considered inappropriate among firefighters? (Remember I am married I know the other boundries for me) Or just handshakes?

(23) Is it common to see dating firefighters interact (kiss & smooch) on the job? Or is this depended on the station and are is this 'policed' as inappropriate?

(24) I think many in the community seeing firefighting as a 'morbid' you will die in this profession? Do you think this is true? I know the risk you can be burned, maimed or end up in a wheelchair.
But I also know you can't live everyday depressed thinking my career choice will kill me? Because there are many retired firefighters.

(25) Can anyone tell me what is practical to pack for fire academy?

Thanks for reading any ideas, suggestions or comments are welcome.

Tia
_________________
TT

[Old Fire Gal]

1) Yes, most fire departments allow family members to visit during certain hours, in certain parts of the fire station.

(2) "As a woman do you eat real light like granola bars, yogurt and bread to keep your system pure during shift? To reduce the occasion to have to defecate a lot?"

I hope you're joking. You need to eat properly.

(3) Again, I hope you're joking. Pee when you need to, for heaven's sake. It's not healthy to hold it. Carry a "Squat-No-More" if you need to.

(4) Wear two tampons if necessary, with a pad as back-up on heavy days.

(5) I always left my gear in the station, and carried everything else in a duffel bag. If you're roaming from station to station, it can be handy to have a gear bag, but it's not essential.

(6) If you have a train station or bus stop near your fire station, and you aren't carrying your gear, then mass transit would be an option. Some firefighters ride a bicycle to work. The vast majority drive. As to car pooling, how would that work if you're on a 24-hour shift?

(7) Most crews have a chow fund, usually per pay period. I have never heard of chipping in for personal toiletries.

(9) I don't understand the question, unless it's about overtime. I guess that would be something to work out with your family. A lot of families could use the extra money.

(10) Most fire departments won't let you work in the same station on the same shift as someone you're related to, by blood or marriage.

(11) I have no kids, so can't answer this.

(12) Same answer as #11, but you really need to choose. You can take care of your kids every minute of every day, or you can put them in the care of others at times so you can have a life, work at your job, go bowling with the girls.

(13) I think if you're going to worry about every day being your last, you should not be a firefighter.

(14) N/a

(15) You should keep trying as long as you really want it and are capable of doing the work. Maybe it takes a year, maybe it takes ten.

(16) For me? Astronaut, explorer, rainforest biologist. For other people? Could be anything.

(17) I don't think I understand this question.

(19) What would make a fire station an unsafe place? Well... various violations of building and fire codes. Is that what you have in mind? Or are you talking about harassment causing a hostile work environment?

(20) Sex on duty is, or should be, against policy in any fire department. It doesn't matter if you're married or not.

(21) Towels and sheets are often sent out to be cleaned. Some stations still do them themselves. Some people bring their own sheets from home, and take them home to wash them.

(22) Really, you need to work this out for yourself. If you can't tell an inappropriate hug from an appropriate one, you should probably not be engaging in any hugs at work.

(23) See the answer to #20. The firehouse is a workplace, and people should behave professionally.

(24) The chances of dying on the job as a firefighter are higher than in other professions, but still small in absolute terms. There are a million firefighters in the U.S. About 100 die in the line of duty every year. So your chances of dying in the course of a 25-year career are well under one percent, and will be less than half of that if you don't die of a heart attack, which mostly women don't.

(25) Sorry, I don't really know why you would "pack" anything special for the academy other than maybe lunch and a change of t-shirt.

[smitty088]

Thank you Old Fire Gal. I appreciate your experience, knowledge base and wisdom.

Tia
_________________
TT

[firething]

Tia - First of all, congratulations on the possibility that you'll get your dream job. Landing a firefighting job is tough and you should be proud of yourself.

You're going got get asked ALL THE TIME what your husband thinks about you working with a bunch of dudes in a "manly" job. I tell people he thinks it's great that I am doing what I love. A ff asked my husband once what he thought of my working with all those guys. He said "Well, at first I was worried, but then I met all of you." That seemed to work pretty well.

As for the kid-guilt (I don't have any) maybe tell them your family can't afford to live on one salary and the firefighter schedule means that one of you will most of the time be able to watch the kids.


(1) Most stations allow family members to visit during certain hours occasionally during your work shift correct?

yes. My dept. says no "civilans" after 9 p.m. If a spouse or significant other hangs around too much though, people will get annoyed.

(2) As a woman do you eat real light like granola bars, yogurt and bread to keep your system pure during shift? To reduce the occasion to have to defecate a lot?

No. I eat what they eat. Get used to living with these guys like you live with your family. Just remember -- everyone poops.


(3) Does urination become a problem because often you hold your urine for long periods of time? Has anyone ever wet herself? Or wear thick pad to hold urine?

A senior man gave me great advice that if you even think you might have to pee, go do it. You never know when you'll get that long, involved call. And, don't risk dehyrating yourself by not drinking enough water for fear you might have to pee. If you go down at a fire because you're dehydrated, a lot of guys will just assume you went down because you're a woman and can't hack it. Stay as healthy, well-rested and well-fed as you can.

(4) During Fire Academy is there any specific survival modes you have found helpful during menstration to reduce flow? I know tampons are very good for this? Any recommendation like Depo ( RX) to stop flow?

The govt. just approved a birth control pill that virtually eliminates periods. I read about it just this morning.


(5) When going in for your shift do you take a backpack with your gear? Or a traveling suitcase on wheels or a bag on a nylon sling across shoulder?

duffel bag. Traveling suitcase might look a little girly?

(6) Is it better to drive to work and leave car or is it better to vanpool, ride bus or commuter train? (Or is it depended on where you live?)

guess that depends on where you work.


(7) I know you must contribute personal money for groceries and personal tolietries? Is this done daily, weekly, monthly? I know borrowing is unacceptable. And you have to provide and contribute for yourself.

Someone should explain this to you when you get there. We kick in seven dollars per pay period. It is automatically deducted from our accounts at our credit union.

(9) When you have a family do you find it best to just do your scheduled hours?

I love overtime because of the money and because it gives me a chance to visit other stations and meet other people. I want everyone in the dept. to get used to having a "female" around so they aren't so anxious or skeptical about it.

(10) What is the benefit of having a spouse work as a firefighter as well besides them seeing you on the job? I don't think my husband and I would work well together at the same place? We enjoy time away from each other occasionally?

My husband and I love each other a lot, but we found we both enjoy the "alone time" this schedule creates.

(11) Do you think the ages of your children, their health, their emotionally well being and stage of learning and development affects your determination to be a firefighter? (My children are both school age and they understand firefighting, I am frank and honest with my children)

My coworkers with kids seem like they get to spend more time with their kids than ordinary working people. They get more chance to go to school events that happen during the day.

(12) As a mother I understand mother's guilt no matter what job you have you leave your children in the care of someone be it school, preschool, childcare or relatives do you think being a firefighter and taking care of others but not being their for your children perhaps when they are sick magnifies mother's guilt? (But then we have to think of military mothers, nurse mothers, pilot mothers, cruise boat mothers, astronaut mothers, doctor mothers who deliver babies & surgeons, foster mothers, 24 hour daycare providers, camp director mothers) As a mother we trust other mothers to watch our children correct?

Lots of women choose to work. Lots can't afford not to work. Stop feeling guilty about it. Day care can be great for kids and help their socialization. I remember loving my day care.

(13) How many of you firefighter moms go into work that day thinking this could be my last day of life? ( I know just everyday in life in general I know could be my last and I am not a firefighter)

I worry more about getting in car wrecks than I do about dying in a fire.

(14) How many of you firefighter moms feel that you had a 'mission' or specific if you will 'calling' to be a firefighter?

I'm not a mom, but I definitly felt it was a calling. I became a volunteer and within a month, I knew this was what I wanted to do more than any other work in the world.

(15) How long did it take you to reach your goal of being a firefighter? And how long do you think you try to reach the goal of being a firefighter? And do you think their is a time when you should pursue a different career?

Four years from the time I became a volunteer. I guess deciding when to quit is a pretty personal decision.

(16) What would you say would be a career similar to firefighter that is just as interesting and challenging and would satisfy you if you could not be a firefighter? (I can't think of any)

I know people who became dispatchers or worked ambulance when they weren't having luck getting a ff job.

(17) Reality check--What would be an obvious you absolutely cannot be a firefighter answer?

Tell them you got hired the same way as the men did and you passed the same physical tests. Some people will still think it's "not a job for a woman." Opinions are like ---holes. Everyone has one. Try not to let them get you down.

(19) The fire house has to be a safe haven for all crew? What would make it a unsafe place?

Bullies can make a station suck if the officer doesn't keep them under control. I would try to handle problems with coworkers myself by saying something directly to them. If that didn't work, I'd say something to my senior man before I'd go to my officer. I would try hard to keep a problem in-house before I'd go up the chain of command any further. If you get labeled as being oversensitive, or a complainer, you won't be able to participate as fully in the camaraderie of the fire department. Guys will be scared that you'll get them in trouble.

(20) If a husband and wife work at same fire house it is considered inappropriate or impolite for them to have sex while on duty? Because this is against policy for all firefighters, correct?

Is this a trick question???? I can't think of any legal employment where people are allowed to have sex at work.

(21) Germs are a big issue... how is bedding laundered, are towels provided and who takes care of this a outside laundry are is it done in house?

Our pillows haven't been laundered since the Eisenhower administration. Once in a while someone will take the blankets home and wash them. The germs you face on calls will be way worse than what you face in your station. If you are a super germ phobe, you might want to rethink your career choice. You will be dealing with puke, blood, poopy adult diapers, filthy homes, roaches, animal waste.

(22) Are hugs (can be borderline by some??) considered inappropriate among firefighters? (Remember I am married I know the other boundries for me) Or just handshakes?

I rarely see firefighters hug each other. I think they don't consider it very "manly." I aim for a handshake, but some guys give me a hug and one high-ranking person once kissed me right on the lips at a big social event. I think it's better to tolerate it than to make a fuss, but that's just my opinion. If someone ever actually made a move on me, I would tell them to f- off. If they persisted, I would kick them in the balls.

(23) Is it common to see dating firefighters interact (kiss & smooch) on the job? Or is this depended on the station and are is this 'policed' as inappropriate?

Inappropriate in uniform, though I doubt you would get in actual trouble. Maybe ok at a social function (funeral? St. Patty's Day parade?)

(24) I think many in the community seeing firefighting as a 'morbid' you will die in this profession? Do you think this is true? I know the risk you can be burned, maimed or end up in a wheelchair.
But I also know you can't live everyday depressed thinking my career choice will kill me? Because there are many retired firefighters.

Smoking would kill you faster. I totally second what old fire gal said about the odds of dying on the job.

(25) Can anyone tell me what is practical to pack for fire academy?

Is it a residential academy? If not, take an extra set of clothes, lunch and some advil.

[Kelly]

1.) Yes, we encourage family visitation so they get to know our second family. Before 9 pm and no phone calls in after 10 pm.

2.) Eat normal. Don't be embarrassed by normal bodily functions. (no, I don't go around farting in front of the guys) Most firefighters can cook.

3.) If you're near a restroom and have to go, go cause you never know when you will have that hours long incident.

4.) I did what I normally do and changed every chance I got. I don't like to fool with mother nature and stop my period.

5.) Gym bag

6.) Depends on where you live and how much stuff you need to take.

7.) We throw in $8 a day for lunch and supper and the extra goes in the kitty after shopping. Every payday we have $5 put in a house fund for the entire department and that goes for condiments, dvd players, tvs, grills, etc. Bring your own toiletries.

9.) We are so short staffed that we get pulled for mandatory OT and that messes up your days off. Now if its planned OT it does make for a nice check.

10.) My husband is a Chief Officer and he understands what we on shift go through in 24 hours. He can never directly superviseme, so I may not be able to be promoted to a certain rank for a certain job.

11.) My kids are 9 years old and 10 months old and they are well adjusted and happy kids. They live in a very stable environment. But that does not mean that if I had to make the heartbreaking decision to give up my career for them to be taken care of, I wouldn't do it.

12.) I was a single mom and I had to work and trust family or strangers to care for my kids, that did not mean that I did not feel guilty. I had to have an income. I now have wonderful husband who is the caregiver when I am on duty and he is off ( he works M-F, 8-4:30) I know a few dads who feel guilty too.

13.) I worry more about dying in a car crash caused from the lack of attentiveness of other drivers.

14.) I knew what I wanted to do from a young age but I wouldn't have done it at the expensive of my kids if it was wrong.

15.) I was 15 when I became an explorer, 18 when I became a volunteer, and 31 when I became paid. But I was always educating myself through classroom or hands on. Most departments will not hire a person after age 36 due to retirement, so if you don't already have a career close to or at that age you had better find one or find a department with a different retirement.

16.) Everyone is different.

17.) I passed the same test as the guys and oh yeah I did better than some of them.

19.) Sexual harassment, hostile work environment. I'm not sure I know what you mean.

20.) Are you kidding? Is there a company that lets people have sex on the job? Most fire departments don't let family work on the same shift let alone the same house.

21.) We bring our own sheets, blankets, and pillows. Our beds are covered with bedspreads that are supposed to be washed monthly but who knows if that happens.

22.) We console each other with hugs. There are appropriate and inappropriate hugs and there is a time and place for them. Handshakes are always welcome. We know each other well enough that we know pretty much who will tolerate what. Also the line is drawn early as to what we tolerate and do not tolerate.

23.) We are professionals and should act as such. Again there is a time and a place.

24.) I agree with old gal.

25.) Is it local or do you go somewhere and stay? We worked 7-5 during ours. Make sure you bring all issued equipment, lunch and drinks, a change of clothes, money, and ibuprofen is good. Ask or they will tell you if you need workout clothes and tennis shoes.

I am a 6 year career firefighter\paramedic and was also a volunteer for many years.
These answers are for my department, but should hold true for most.
Good Luck

[smitty088]

Thank you Firething and Kelly, your honest, frank and wise answers to my questions are so helpful to me.

The sex question on the job was asked in ignorance, sorry I really did not know. Thank you in advance.

Tia
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TT

[Bombera5522]

I agree with everything and probably for all of us across the board. But along with extra uniforms dont forget extra under garments!! There is nothing worse than having to wear wet undies all day in the middle of winter!!!! It happened to me and will never happen again
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If you do your best, then no one can ask for more...but they will!!!!