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BLACKWIDOW
Joined: 24 Jun 2006
Posts: 20
Location: FL
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 Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 11:53 am Post subject:
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You are right i am not in your head, I just SEE what I SEE I know from EXPERIENCE of over 20 years my husband being in the FD
Ok we get the picture you are MARRIED to a firefighter. Wow what did your husband do that he got giged for that has caused you to carry the burden/grudge. Come on now. Did you catch him cheating on you ? Is it that he tells you all those stories about others so WHEN he does get caught he can deny it and blame the woman. You need help. To be so bitter from second hand "stories" from your husband.
Quit bashing us female firefighters, find a new message board to haunt.
BLACKWIDOW
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dmfmfd136
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 23
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:36 pm Post subject:
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Dora & BW ~ AMEN!!
MDAEB-Let me see if got this right...I was working full time as a dental asstant, was married, had 2 children and one on the way and developed this dyabolical plan. I became a volunteer EMT so that I could just go work with all these men, flirt with them & cry sexual harrassment? And i looked into my crystal ball to know 10 years later I would be divorced & would be working full time on a fire department to find myself a husband? DAMN! why can't I be that insightful to the lottery???
Maybe you should go spend time with the women of fire & ems and not through the gossip & rumor mills created by the men of fire & ems.
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mdaeb
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 12
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:22 am Post subject:
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| Dora wrote: |
Alyssa-
I'm sorry about your situation, guys are an amusement and the many things they do to handle a situation. That doesn't condone what they have done to you, that's inappropriate. I'm not too sure on how I would handle it other than probably finding another department that is more supportive of you being there. They are out there, it just takes awhile to find the right one. By the way, don't get infuriated by the hi-jacked thread, immaturity seems to flourish online.
mdaeb-
Lemme get this right, you are not a firefighter, nor have you ever been. Every thing you know about this profession and females being in it is based upon what your husband tells you? How are you able to pass judgment on something you have never experienced first hand? Seeing is not doing. Believe it or not some women do want to do this job for the job and have passion like you've never seen before. It is sad that they are not present at your husband's fire department, I would like you to question what sort of fire department he is working at. Also, curiosity has me baffled...if you do not approve of female firefighters, just what are you doing on this forum aside from trying to get a rise from people. Perhaps you are a very bored person? If that is the case, I suggest you work on your punctuation and spelling. |
No you dont have it right not everything I know is from what my husband tells me its what I SEE. I was with my niece once at a store when we were on one isle coming around to the next when we seen this girl put her arm around her husbands neck and than say "HEY BIG BOY whatcha doing with your day off?" and he told her "hey back off!" she just kind of giggled and looked at my niece and walked on by. she asked me WHAT I WOULD of done about it, and I told her first I would of walked up to her and told her to keep her hands to herself and her stupied little comments, and than I would of went to her BOSS no THE HIGHEST BOSS and reported it. other times I have been at picnic and seen this one girl wear these like sweat pants that were rolled down with her stomach 1/2 showing and her pants so low you could tell she was wearing a thong. (by the way this was the same girl that was yelling some guy was stalking her)
I have seen at ff parties girls that were hanging all over the guys and so on and so forth, I have seen with EVERY girl that was in the fd this kind of behavior and I seen ONE GIRL who BITCHED that she wasnt allowed to go into the guys rooms to play xbox, but than she has the nerve to tell her BOSS that this guy is stalking her. just out of respect if NOT for HERSELF but for the FAMILIES that were there she should of rolled back up her pants and acted like a lady not a slut. so see you are wrong I did not hear what my husband says cause he even told me how BAD this one was and I told him I didnt think she was so bad UNTIL the picnic someone on this post said that they ether harras them or totally IGNORE them well, I know that my husband ignores them cause he says he doesnt need any of the crap it brings (her turning the guys in cause they say something they shouldnt of in front of her saposably stalking her etc. ) if she doesnt want this behavior she wouldnt show this behavior.
and no I am not a bored person I have more to do than I can deal with I just happend to run across this web site while looking for something else and decided I would take a minute to read a few post and the one that REALLY botherd me was the one of the girl wanting for the FD to pay for HER time off to have a baby and felt the need to respond. comeon REALLY think about it do they pay the GUYS for taking off time when they have a baby? ya know it DOES take 2. and it pisses me off that SHE thinks that SHE should have this paid 12 weeks off thing when in REALITY most women in ANY feild dont get PAID TIME OFF. its on your own pay.
and they think its hard what about the people who work DAILY and have to do sitters daily and running to get them there daily etc etc etc. to me this is a way out, like I always tell my husband I WISH I could have every other day off from all the responsibilities of raising kids its ALOT harder to deal with work and kids EVERYDAY than everyother. and so to hear someone say that they dont LIKE the way someone else is raising the kids something as STUPIED as not eating before 6 is DUMB, there is ALOT of REAL people that work 9to5 and CANT have dinner till after 6. unless we were to feed them mc donalds which is WAYYYYYY totally worse than eating a LITTLE later and having something that is better for them.
and as far as my spelling goes and puncuation I THOUGHT you were a ff not a teacher! its probley cause I type extremly fast so I can move on to things that I have to do that MATTER.
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firething
Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 33
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 10:48 am Post subject:
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The issue of people (men AND women) joining volunteer departments for the wrong reason is a valid issue, but you have not presented your argument well. It's very ignorant to generalize from your second-hand experience with one department to say that ALL women firefighters join a department for the sole purpose of meeting men and pissing off the men's wives. If you want to ask other women firefighters how to handle the firehouse flirt who's in the department for the wrong reasons, we may be able to give you good advise. If you just came here to imagine that you know what we're all about and to criticize us, please leave. And, just as an additional point, sometimes good relationships and marriages happen between firefighters. It happens in every workplace or gathering place. For you to characterize every firehouse relationship as the result of husband-stealing and general female trampery is also really ignorant.
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Dora
Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 4
Location: Texas
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:21 pm Post subject:
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mdaeb-
I will admit there are some bad seeds out there. This is every where. I know I went to school with my share of "wild" individuals and these people do appear other places. But to classify an entire profession like this, is wrong. It is unfortunate that you have seen this sort of behavior at your husband's fire department. But how can you can logically allow this to define female firefighters? It was one fire dept. Not all women are out there to take husbands. It is in no way my goal to go through all of the schooling, forking over the money, studying, putting my life on hold just to become a firefighter so that I can steal somebody's husband. I've got better things to do.
How many women do you know that do something that requires so much of them physically and mentally? This isn't just a man's world any more. Get over that. Some depts do give guys the time off to spend with their wives and children after a pregnancy. It is too bad that you were not treated well during your pregnancy (not sure if you have children) if you complain so much about female ffs being given this "luxury" then why don't you shut up and do the job yourself? That way you can have the nice hours, and what other stereotypical misunderstandings you have decided on.
Maybe you would understand if you had a job that was rewarding, where every day you went to work knowing that you get to help somebody, you really get to make a difference in a life. It really is too bad that people have to work 8-5 Mon- Fri office jobs, that really does suck. I can imagine being stuck inside a tiny cubicle for hours upon hours staring at the same computer screen, answering phones, the same work every day, every week. I know this feeling, I do it every day. Until I get my dream job that is and there is no way in the world that I am going through all of this crap just to find a guy.
While I hope that you could reevaluate what a slap in that face you have given to this board, I do understand that arguing with you is much like yelling at a whole in the wall, but hey, different strokes for different folks.
By the way, you must have thought wrong, I am not a teacher. I am educated and I learned that for people to take you serious you have to talk (write/spell) like you take yourself serious. What's that say about you?
_________________
How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges?
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mdaeb
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 12
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 5:04 pm Post subject:
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| firething wrote: |
| The issue of people (men AND women) joining volunteer departments for the wrong reason is a valid issue, but you have not presented your argument well. It's very ignorant to generalize from your second-hand experience with one department to say that ALL women firefighters join a department for the sole purpose of meeting men and pissing off the men's wives. If you want to ask other women firefighters how to handle the firehouse flirt who's in the department for the wrong reasons, we may be able to give you good advise. If you just came here to imagine that you know what we're all about and to criticize us, please leave. And, just as an additional point, sometimes good relationships and marriages happen between firefighters. It happens in every workplace or gathering place. For you to characterize every firehouse relationship as the result of husband-stealing and general female trampery is also really ignorant. |
its not volunteer departments I see this in and again I will tell you its NOT second hand experience its what I have seen, and SAD to say there has not been ONE girl in the fire department and they have had alot of girls come and go that wasnt there to cause trouble or start it and than NOT want to deal with it when the guys to react to them. and to assume that I see it as a husband stealing situation I am VERY secure with my husband and really dont worry about that cause if someone is NOT happy with YOU than its NOT meant to be anyways. I just feel sorry for the (MAYBE FEW girls) that are out there that REALLY are in it for the fires/department stuff it makes THEM ALL LOOK cheap when 10 0ut of 10 at the station I KNOW does act this way and stuff. do you know what I mean IF EVERY GUY you knew cheated on his wife/girlfriend/ and was just a slum wouldnt you wonder about ALL GUYS even the ones you dont know? you would wonder if there REALLY was a good guy out there. thats how I see this looking in on what I HAVE SEEN not guessing at and seeing this girl run around with her thong hanging out and her pants rolled down so that it WOULD show it just makes you wonder WHY she would do that and than complain that the guys are hitting on her or harrasing her. or the ones that straight out make a move on one of the other guys. it jsut doesnt look good for the girls that are REALLY out there to do a job. and I am sure there are some good realtionships between husbands and wifes in the fd but, I DONT think that they should date every guy at work. and when they do go from guy to guy let it be known that the guys do think less about them. and if that girl would dress like that at a FAMILY function HOW does she dress at work? I know that they have a work out room in there station and my husband was telling me that the chief had to tell her to put on longer shorts cause the guys were saying she was running around with shorts that showed her butt cheeks (NOT cool!) what if the guys ran around with there _alls hanging out would THAT BE OK?
so see I really am not here to judge EVERYONE I know that there is probley a few girls out there who really just want to work in the fd and dont care about dating the guys or acting like this but I tell you of ALL the girls I know EVERYONE of them has ether tried to date the other FF's or tried to pull crap to TRY to make a wife jelous. and NO i am not really jelous I would be more the type to tell the girl how STUPIED and SLUTTY SHE is making her self seem. but I dont have to say anything because I know my husband can handle it himself and his way sometimes is to just not deal with them at all, which is bad in some ways cause it really should be a team thing, but when you cant count on someone cause you are afraid you will be blamed for saying something harrasing than WHY should he its better for him to just distance himself from the situation. as he says.
I dont mean to upset anyone I know there are SOME girls out there that dont date the guys or that really are there to just do a job I guess we just havent seen any at his station yet in the 20+ years he has been there.
but I PROMISE to keep my eyes peeled for the good girl and when I see her I PROMISE to give her credit.
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firething
Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 33
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 12:13 pm Post subject:
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Mdaeb -
It sounds like the department in question could do more to create a professional climate for men and women to work together. Many departments have rules about what can be worn at the station. I realize that this is hard in a volunteer department since people respond in whatever they have on, but no tube tops and daisy dukes at drill or in the workout room could certainly be a rule. There can be rules about public displays of affection at the station, horseplay, etc. If the woman is making men uncomfortable, or the men are making women uncomfortable, or a couple is making others uncomfortable, there are ways to correct these problems through the chain of command before they get out of hand. If, as you suggest, these women don't give a toss what people think, then why not work on the men? Focus on getting them to ignore this woman's flirtations. If they treat her as a fellow firefighter, not a playmate, maybe she will get the message and tone it down. Or, she will get bored by the lack of male attention and go away. Someone at the leadership level is doing the department a disservice by allowing this behavior to continue. Professional behavior for both men and women needs to be established and enforced.
As for how she dresses at functions, well, people can pretty much wear what they please at those. Why not just try to enjoy watching her make a spectacle of herself? If you and your husband are happy and solid, and he deals with her professionally, why give a crap about this woman. Your not jealous, right? So just enjoy the circus. I certainly enjoy watching my guy coworkers make fools of themselves over young women.
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Sarah Silence
Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Posts: 15
Location: Washington St.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:24 pm Post subject:
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Jeez! I go out of town for a weekend, and look at what I miss!
Alyssa,
Sometimes the simplest answer is the right one: Find a new department. Everyone can argue about what should rightfully happen, and who things should be...but it looks like in your department, they simply aren't that way. It's a shame, too. They really don't know what they're losing...
It may mean that you have to move...but, damn, anything is better than what you've got now!
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