[FireCali]

I have been reading many of the posts and I see that a lot of women are married to firefighters. I am marrying a firefighter next year who has been in for 10 years. I am just getting in, in the last couple of years to firefighting. What are peoples take on being married to a firefighter? Do you work together? Do you work in the same Department? How does your schedule work with kids? Is your spouse very understanding of your job, since they are in the same profession? How were they after you had kids with the fact that you are both firefighters having your lives on the line? Any info would be greatly appreciated, because we want to have two little ones and want to start in the next 3-5 years.
Me personally I would never work with him, because that is our time away from each other, but I would probably work the same shift or similar shift at a different firehouse in the same department. What do you all think?

[Kelly]

I am married to a chief officer. He works Monday thru Friday and I work shift, every third day. We work at the same department. Our department does not allow family members, male or female to be on the same shift and one cannot directly supervise the other. I believe that this is so if something happens both of us are not hurt at the same time. We have both been in the fire service for almost 20 years. I would not want to work on the same shift, I prefer that one of us be home with our 2 kids at night. We also agree to disagree on some issues because the department has grown since his time on shift. But it is easier to go home and say something and not have to explain it to him. I had my last baby a year ago and he doesn't know any other schedule than the one we have him on. Our 9 year old daughter has adjusted well and enjoys telling people her mom is a firefighter. Make sure that your department has maternity policy and light duty policy if you plan on working while pregnant. I don't know that many firefighters that are married to other firefighters, I just know that our marriage works. The only thing that I miss is being with my kids all the time, but I am with them more now than when I worked 12 hour days. Good Luck.

[BLACKWIDOW]

I was married to a firefighter also. I was here first, we got married and he became a firefighter after that. We were on the same shift different station untill shortly after the first baby. A 24 hour sitter was great but we decided we were better and went to seperate shifts. One of us was always with the girls. He hated and still hates being a firefighter. I feel badly for him. It sucks to go to a job you hate. He just went to a 40 mon-fri shift so I now have child care issues. The divorce never affected our professional relationship at work. He is still welcome at my house and the girls and I fixed him dinner last night. Be sure to check on the matrenity light duty thing... check on disability insurance too. It might cover you if you can not do your job and they don't have light duty for you. we never talked about work much. He really hated/hates it. good luck and God bless, may you have a happy healthy family.
BLACKWIDOW

[firemom378]

Hello! My husband and I are both firefighters on the same department, same shift, and even the same house off and on. We were assigned together for 2 years at one house and now we are both assigned to the same house for this last year. We are technically bid to different apparatus, but we do end up on the same piece occasionally. We work very well together and enjoy working together. He has actually saved my butt on a couple occasions-long stories-but he noticed when my partners were being taken to the hospital and I wasn't in rehab...he asks IC who is on the attack line? Uhmmmmmm.....oh gee, it was little old me by myself which is never supposed to happen of course.
We have 2 children and a 3rd on the way, but we are very lucky as far as childcare. A very trusted friend and wife of a fellow firefighter on the same shift is our babysitter. She quit her job as a teacher to babysit for us full time after our 2nd, she figured this way she was only working when her husband was gone and she gets more time with him and her children this way too. It turned out being a good thing for everyone!
My husband and I talk about work, interesting runs, firehouse drama, etc. when we first get home-but then we go back to being normal people playing with our youngest or taking the older one to school, baseball games, etc. We felt it was more important for our kids to have a family 2 out of 3 days, rather than just mom or dad and then only getting 1 day all of us together. There are people that can make working opposite shifts work, I just really wanted the kids to have both of us as much as possible. The fact that they love their babysitter and her kids makes it easier for us to make that decision though.
Good luck with your marriage and your future. The most important thing is to make sure that you communicate well with one another, because the firehouse can be a weird place. (Well he said this, blah, blah, blah) Some co-workers cornered me as an "intervention" on behalf of my husband. I was soooo mad and my poor hubby was sitting there going-I said WHAT? Does that even sound like me? A rumor got started, then everyone starts talking about it like it's fact-then you have well-intentioned misled people butting into your marriage. When we finally figured out what happened and who started it- we realized how extremely silly it all was and haven't let anything like that happen again.

[Kelly]

I my self would not feel comfortable on the same shift in the same house with my husband. It's not that I don't like him, he's an excellent officer and I trust him with my life, just like my shift mates. But I know that I would feel very uncomfortable working with a couple like that. What fire department allows family to be on the same shift? What if you both got hurt or worse? What happens to your children?

[Sarah Silence]

I'm glad my guy isn't a firefighter! As great as it would be to share a passion...it is nice to be able to get away from it, as well!

[FireCali]

Firemom378 I think that it is ok that you work with your hubby, but I dont think I could personally be in the same firehouse, or at least at the same time. As for working in a different house and still in the same department and the same shift I think that would work just right. I just know in my heart that his time at the firehouse is his time away from me, as my time would be the same. We are together a lot at home to the point where I think we would get sick of one another seeing each other every moment, but hey girl more power to you cause some people can do that and it works out fine. Thank you for the advice though, because it is nice to hear from a woman who is in the same department as her hubby, same shift, and has 2 kids with one on the way. I want to work for a large department like yours (one with about 2,000 firefighetrs). You give me motivation to keep chugging along, and that you can have kids, both be firefighters, and be happily married all that the same time. I know you have to work at it though and learn to put peoples bull s___ or jealousy to the side, or it will break you up. Anyways how long have you and your hubby been on with the department? Did you start after him or meet him at the department? Were you younger or older when you had your kids? I'm trying to figure what to do to be on the safer side of things. Take care and thanks a bunch again.